


The Hairs on Chan's Head

by ShioIsAlways_Tired



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Friendship, Gen, Group Chat Fic, Humor, Social Media, Texting, group-chat, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShioIsAlways_Tired/pseuds/ShioIsAlways_Tired
Summary: Jisoos:  You can't spell visuals without J(Vi)su(als)ngDablix: peepee poopoohYUNjean: bro whatSo I decided to add to the gc-verse because I'm OrIGiNaL. We have a discord for stays and it's as much of a hot mess as I'd expect an actual skz gc to be. So this fic will just be (mostly) unrelated real short snippets of things we've said in the chat.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Everyone, Bang Chan & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han & Everyone, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin & Everyone, Kim Seungmin & Everyone, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) & Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Everyone, Seo Changbin & Everyone, Yang Jeongin | I.N & Everyone
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. The Coca from coca-cola stands for cocaine.

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally a crack-fic I wrote in 5 minutes. Chan if you read this, join our discord server :D It is fun :DD It is not a cult to worship your dimples, I swear :D

**OnePeel sunbaenim step on me** :  
and so that's why coca-cola originally had cocaine in it

 **soondoongdorino** :  
i think they should add the cocaine back

 **Chad** :  
WHY

 **Jisoos** :  
WHY NOT

 **Worm** :  
THE COCAIne was probably taken out for a reason

 **Dablix** :  
ye olde days: Oh YoU arE siCK?  
HeRE, HavE SoME coCAine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worm: Jeongin  
> OnePeel sunbaenim step on me: Seungmin  
> Dablix: Felix  
> Jisoos: Jisung  
> hYUNjean: Hyunjin  
> fiONAtoMYSHReK: Changbin  
> soondoongdorino: Minho  
> Chad: Chan
> 
> [Join the Circus!](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	2. So, how do you like your ice-cream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is here!

**Jisoos:** btw do u like ur icecream with or without the bone  
  


**Dablix:** BONELESS ICE CREAM 😍

 **Chad:** what- I hate this and I hate all of you.

 **fiONAtoMYSHReK:** I will give you all the boneless ice cream, just tell me a flavor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are free to join our discord server! It's not a cult for Jisung's jeekies, I swear :D It's not :DD
> 
> [JEEKIES ](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/719596799412666449/724296977826971648/image0.jpg?width=636&height=636)  
> [Join the Circus!](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	3. Old 3racha Had a Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eieio

**hYUNjean:**  
e

 **Jisoos:**  
e  
i  
e  
i  
o

 **soondoongdorino:**  
O

 **beanie:**  
Oh no

 **Jisoos:**  
Old 3racha had a farm eieio  
And on that farm they had a llama eieio  
With an Americano  
And an Americano there  
Here Americano  
There Americano  
Everywhere an Americano

Old 3racha had a farm eieio  
And on that farm they a fennec fox  
With a AaaaAA here  
Here and a AaaaAA  
Here an AaaaAA  
There an AaaaAA  
Everywhere a AaaaAA

Old 3racha had a farm eieio

 **Dablix:**  
And on that farm they a squirrel  
with a wow wow here  
and a wow wow there  
here a wow  
there a wow  
wow wow everywhere

Old 3racha had a farm eieio  
And on that farm they had a pigunny eieio  
with a yoh yoh here  
and a yoh yoh here  
here a yoh  
there a yoh  
everywhere a yoh yoh 

**OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
go tf sleep it's 4 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join our discord server, stays! it's fun! and you can leave if and when you want to!!
> 
> [Sunshine Pixie! ](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/718617066776559734/723175081987276800/847da87d6624a74b28af8db56f2e844b.jpg?width=422&height=636)  
> [Join the Circus! ](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	4. SKZ as Pasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pasta-bilities are endless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks ago, I was trying to take a nap, but my brain thought up of this and the following conversation made me love our server more. Where else will you find people are willing to discuss important matters like skz members as pasta?

**Jisoos:**  
I was trying to go to sleep but then I started to think which of us would be which pasta.

 **soondoongdorino:**  
I-

 **Dablix:**  
That's a good question tho

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
tf

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
Chan-hyung is the green pasta. The one with green leafy-vegetables

 **Jisoos:**  
Minho-hyung would be fucelli or vermicelli or spaghetti  
Idk how to spell any of them  
yongbokie would be ravioli  
What, no thoughts?

 **Worm:**  
I don't know why but I agree

 **Dablix:**  
sungie, u would be the classic macaroni type, the elbow pasta. A classic.

**OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
I think Changbin-hyung would be these short noodles that are like spaghetti and you put them in your soup

 **Jisoos:**  
Oo yeah!

 **Worm:**  
Ohh yeah  
I can see that

 **Dablix:**  
It's small noodles but I don't want my soup without them  
Same with Changbin-hyung

 **Jisoos:**  
Lol  
What about Seungminnie?  
He seems like the most upper-class pasta

 **Chad:**  
Okay but. What. Did. I. Just. Come. Into. And. What. Am. I. Reading.

 **Jisoos:**  
No, but this is important

 **soondoongdorino:**  
That's not the question

 **soondoongdorino:**  
The question is what kind of pasta is Seungmin?

 **Worm:**  
Jisung-hyung was about to take a nap but he came with this question > Okay but. What. Did. I. Just. Come. Into. And. What. Am. I. Reading. **@Chad**  
What kind of pasta are we.

 **Jisoos:**  
Thank u innie.

 **Worm:**  
:3

 **Dablix:**  
<3 

**fiONAtoMYSHReK:**  
I feel like innie would be these alphabet noodles if you know what I mean

 **Jisoos:**  
I can only think of breadstick for Seungmin.

 **Chad:**  
Okay... Seungmin is 100% some sort of expensive high class pasta. Just saying.

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
Ohh yeahh > I feel like Jeongin would be these alphabet noodles if you know what I mean **@fiONAtoMYSHReK**

**Dablix:**  
I feel like Jeongin would be these alphabet noodles if you know what I mean  
**@fiONAtoMYSHReK** jsjwjwajjww yeah I agree!

 **Worm:**  
I ate those when I was little

 **Dablix:**  
The only other option is some pasta you'd eat with both a knife and a fork

 **soondoongdorino:**  
I can see that

 **Jisoos:**  
Some extra fancy pasta with truffles (not gold leaf tho)

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
Or pasta with caviar

 **Jisoos:**  
Woojin-hyung would be whole wheat pasta

 **Dablix:**  
Hyunjin is lasagne

 **Jisoos:**  
Hyunjin is lasagne  
**@Dablix** yes. Genius  
But fancy lasagne.

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
Of course

 **Worm:**  
Now I'm hungry

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
I am stuck with breadstick....

 **Dablix:**  
Ooo do u know that pasta that has like, a whole egg yolk in the middle?  
That's seungminie

 **Jisoos:**  
I highly agree.

 **Dablix:**  
It has like, runny egg yolk in the middle of the pasta. That's Seungmin for sure

 **Chad:**  
I agree  
Also, Innie, I'm bringing you some food. Tell me what you want to eat.

 **Jisoos:**  
I'm glad we sorted that out. Now I can sleep in peace

 **Dablix:**  
So in conclusion:  
Channie-hyung- Green pasta: the one with leafy vegetables.  
Minho-hyungie - fucelli, vermicelli or spaghetti  
Yongbokie - Ravioli  
Sungie - elbow macaroni  
Changbin-hyung - noodles for soup  
Innie aegi- Alphabet noodles  
Woojinie-hyung - wheat pasta  
Hyunjinnie - fancy lasagne  
Seungminnie - pasta with a runny egg yolk inside

 **hYUNjean:**  
i wake up n one of the first things i see is pasta skz  
absolutely stunning.

 **Jisoos:**  
But do you agree?

 **hYUNjean:**  
yes of course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Join the Circus!](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	5. Preview chap: #chanontop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A teensy tiny lil announcement.

No chapter today because I'm not feeling well. Sorry guys :(  
I couldn't just post an announcement alone, so here is a little sneak-peek of the next one.

... 

**

#chanontop 

**

**Dablix:**  
psssT He sAid hE doesn't cAre about Jay wHY PEE

 **Worm:**  
**cHANnIE-hYuNg oN TOP**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Channie pic because ily](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/718616509253156875/724747071244075018/653730cd62e99ee66d82d81bfc2eec7e.jpg?width=423&height=636)   
>  [Join the Circus!](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	6. Battery Acid is Valid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry for the late update :')) Real life hit me like a real train-wreck and even listening to Wow won't make me habby. T^T 
> 
> I'm sorry it's late, but yeah, uhh here it is. _jazz hands_

**Dablix:**  
So my fam are getting a kitten and we need name suggestions  
So far top 2 picks are Elizabeth Von James the third and JYP jr

 **fiONAtoMYSHReK:**  
j y p j u n i o r  
omg

 **soondoongdorino:**  
nooooo

 **Jisoos:**  
i think that starlord the conquerer or jetfuel would be fantastic names for a kitten  
but also elizabeth is good  
What about battery acid?

 **Dablix:**  
I keep telling my sister with a name like Jyp junior the kitten is FOR SURE a Star, but it's "NoT CuTe"

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
hhhh  
BATTERY ACID

 **Dablix:**  
BRKENFJSNFC  
I THINK BATTERY ACID WOULD BE AN ADORABLY NAME

 **soondoongdorino:**  
"not cute"  
t a s t e

 **Jisoos:**  
batty or alice for short  
or ace idk

 **Worm:**  
WHEN I GET A PET IM NAMING IT BATTERY ACID AWEOFIWEJFIO

 **Jisoos:**  
YES

 **Dablix:**  
Battery acid assfdvfgcbj

 **Jisoos:**  
pls u gotta suggest battery acid to ur family  
OR jetpack jones

 **Worm:**  
JETPACK JONES

 **Dablix:**  
We also thought of Ray short for Eraser

 **soondoongdorino:**  
eraserbfkdnfkdnnfcv

 **Worm:**  
ERASER

 **Dablix:**  
I suggested battery acid and Olivia said she wants to be able to do the baby voice to the kittens

 **Jisoos:**  
u can say battery acid in a baby voice  
if u try hard enough

 **Dablix:**  
Cue her attempting to cutely say battery acid

 **Sunie:**  
BFKDNFJENDJSNFG

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
JSHUSBZHZSH

 **Jisoos:**  
IF SHE SETS HER MIND TO IT SHE CAN DO IT

 **Dablix:**  
Help she's been murmuring "a go go go battewey acid" asfsfgbjhgbnn

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
hhhh  
AHIUHDHWA AH

 **Chad:**  
Wh-

 **Jisoos:**  
BFJDNCIDNDISJDJC IF THEY STICK WITH BATTERY ACID IM GOING TO SOB

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
I'm deasd

 **Jisoos:**  
B r o

 **Jisoos:**  
if they know we're helping u name him, then PLEASE tell them that ill write a ten page essay on why battery acid is the best name for a kitten.

 **soondoongdorino:**  
ALSO WHAY DORS THE KITTEN LOOK LIKE SHOW US

 **Jisoos:**  
YES

**Dablix:**  


We're only adopting one c: 

**Worm:**  
omg

 **Chad:**  
so cutendksh

 **Dablix:**  
Update: battery acid took a hard no courtesy of Mum  
I'm also off naming duty

 **Jisoos:**  
aw  
sad, man

 **Dablix:**  
You suggest "Changbins left bicep" ONCE and suddenly you're " nOt FiT tO NaMe Him"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am totally naming my future kitty Battery Acid, btw. 
> 
> [Join the Circus ](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	7. the tears of jay why pee oppar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter! I don't think anyone was waiting for it, but here you gooooooo

**Chad:**  
I need to find some pics for the photcards. Does anyone have any pics of me? I don't take that many...

 **soondoongdorino:**  
all my original pics of you are. joke pics ig  
this type of shit  


**Dablix:**  
Dbdbdbfbfbdbdb

 **hYUNjean:**  
A r t

 **Jisoos:**  
aND YOU CALLS STAYS CLOWNS-  
oH wAit stays call themselves clowns KASJDLKJAFLK

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
EXACTLY

 **Jisoos:**  
wELP IT'S YOUR FAULT, HYUNG

 **OnePeel sunbaenim step on me:**  
Yes they get it from somewhere

 **Chad:**  
im the Only person who says they arent clowns are u srs

 **fiONAtoMYSHReK:**  
Channie-hyung told them not to call the clowns but w h a t d i d t h e y d o

 **Dablix:**  
**CLOWN CULT RISEEEEEE**

 **Jisoos:**  
And when this clown cult steals his laptop? Then what?  
He'll get in trouble from Jay Why Pee 

**hYUNjean:**  
We'll just turn on Fever so JYP performs it. E Z. Stays need to steal that laptop or the songs will never be released. 

**Worm:**  
psssT He sAid hE doesn't cAre about Jay wHY PEE  
cHAN-hyuNG'S oN TOP

 **soondoongdorino:**  
Dhdjdjfjfjfjf #ChanOnTop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a great day! Ly! <3  
>  [Join the Circus ](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


	8. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiatus

I don't think there's anyone still keeping up with the story, but I'll just leave it here. 

This story will be going on a temporary hiatus while I sort myself out. I'm sorry about that, but I hope you all understand. Thank you to everyone who has commented on the story and left Kudos!! I'll come back to it, I promise!  
(You can still join the Stray Kids discord server, of course. The link will still be up.)

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, Hugs not drugs, kids. Chan's hugs are there for u.
> 
> I've never written a fic before. So this was my first attempt :') I hope it wasn't too bad.
> 
> Worm: Jeongin  
> OnePeel sunbaenim step on me: Seungmin  
> Dablix: Felix  
> Jisoos: Jisung  
> hYUNjean: Hyunjin  
> fiONAtoMYSHReK: Changbin  
> soondoongdorino: Minho  
> Chad: Chan
> 
> [Join the circus!](https://discord.gg/tk7zTA3Gsh)


End file.
